Glynn Lunney(2021)· NASA engineer (1936–2021)✦William Whitfield (architect)(2019)· British architect (1920–2019)✦
Roger Agnelli(2016)✦
Jack Mansell(2016)· English football player and manager (1927–2016)✦
Gus Douglass(2015)· American politician (1927–2015)✦
Safet Plakalo(2015)· Bosnian writer (1950–2015)✦
Danny Schechter(2015)· American television producer, independent filmmaker, blogger, and media critic✦
Patrick Joseph McGovern(2014)· Billionaire businessman and entrepreneur✦Introducing
Mortimer
Head of Household
Weird Burial Stories' resident expert on death. He has extensive firsthand experience.
"Death is not the opposite of life. It is the context in which life becomes interesting."
— Mortimer, Head of Household, Weird Burial Stories
The Official Biography
Mortimer has been with Weird Burial Stories since the beginning — which is to say, since before the beginning, since before most things that currently exist. He has attended more funerals than he can count, visited every ossuary in Europe at least twice, and has strong opinions about the quality of embalming practices across the centuries (the Egyptians: excellent; the Victorians: trying their best; modern funeral homes: he declines to comment).
His exact age is unknown, even to him. His exact origin is a matter of some scholarly debate, which he finds flattering. He communicates primarily through marginalia left in library books, the occasional unexplained cold spot, and a weekly column in The Graveyard Shift newsletter that he insists on writing himself.
Mortimer does not consider himself dead. He considers himself ‘between appointments.'
He is the most knowledgeable entity on the subject of burial history currently available for consultation, and he is deeply committed to the mission of Weird Burial Stories: to make death less frightening by making it more interesting. He also has excellent taste in cemeteries.
Known Facts About Mortimer
Has visited the Sedlec Ossuary 14 times. Considers it 'cozy.'
Was present at the first public demonstration of the daguerreotype. Found the photographer's technique 'adequate.'
Speaks fluent Latin, archaic Greek, and enough Tibetan to negotiate a sky burial.
Has strong opinions about the Paris Catacombs (too crowded, poor lighting, the gift shop is an insult).
Once spent three years as a Toraja family's honored guest. Describes it as 'the most comfortable I have ever been.'
His favorite holiday is Día de los Muertos. He attends every year. He is always the best-dressed.
What Mortimer Does Around Here
Story Consultant
Every story published on Weird Burial Stories passes through Mortimer's review. He has rejected three articles for being 'insufficiently strange.'
Competition Judge
Mortimer personally evaluates every entry in the Spooky Story Competition. His feedback is described as 'darkly eloquent' by those who have received it.
Newsletter Columnist
The Graveyard Shift newsletter features a weekly column by Mortimer. He insists on writing it himself. The editors have stopped arguing.
💀 Mortimer's Curated Archive
Stories I Have Personally Annotated
"These are not merely good stories. These are the ones that changed how I think about death — and I have been thinking about it for a very long time." — Mortimer
The Bone Church of Sedlec
40,000 human bones. One vision. The most beautiful charnel house in the world.
Sky Burials: Feeding the Vultures
In Tibet, the dead are given to the sky. A 1,000-year-old tradition that makes perfect sense.
The Toraja Death Feast
In Sulawesi, the dead attend their own funerals. Sometimes for years.
Victorian Post-Mortem Photography
The Victorians photographed their dead. It was not morbid. It was love.
The Merry Cemetery of Săpânța
A Romanian cemetery where every grave tells the truth. Including the embarrassing parts.
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